#9

Even if you feel like your eyes may pop out as your head implodes, be nice anyway.

#8

Procrastinate tomorrow.

#7

Seriously ponder any conspiracy theory you've concocted prior to going public with it.

#6

Pray anyway.

#5

Sail with friends whenever possible.

#4

If it has more than 4 legs and it won't shoo, have it killed.

#3

Should you find yourself invited to an event that is not conducive to wearing cute shoes, you might want to rethink it.

#2

If at any time you're experiencing an inner conflict as to whether or not you should have another drink, go with no.

#1

Under no circumstances should you overestimate your sexiness.